we made out on top of his cat.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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