That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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