That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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