i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
