After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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