Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
