And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
false alarm. still invincible.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
