did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
