At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize