have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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