Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
