Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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