I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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