Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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