Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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