the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
