Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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