then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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