Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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