my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
