my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
