It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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