pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
