Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
