Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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