the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
