There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
