He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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