Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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