We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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