after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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