Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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