this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
