My pussy is not your playground.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
