you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
