Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
