Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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