Got a toothbrush?
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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