I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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