At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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