i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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