He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
