i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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