Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
