We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
