Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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