I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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