I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
