she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
