Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
