I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So squirting runs in the family.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
