...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
