let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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