Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
birth control should be required to get into college
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
