I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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