apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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