Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
