a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
