at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
