This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
