Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
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