in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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