Fine. I'll sleep in my office
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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