i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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