fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
