I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize